Be Careful What You Wish For....Damn

I wished for a man with a job. I get a sweet guy who is a workaholic! I don't talk to him half the time because all he does is work! I hate his job because it takes time away from us. When I am in a relationship, I like to actually spend time with the person I am with. Not so with BMW. Why does he even bother if he is not going to try to work me. Then again, why am I even trying when he will not work with me? I guess I could say that I could have a man that has worse habits.

Anyway this is what I have chosen to do. I am going to keep seeing him until someone better comes along. Bad you say? So friggin what he needs to take care of home. Home is being with me and hanging out with my friends at least once a month. Is that too much to ask? For the guy that you are seeing to want to spend time with you and your friends. You can say that I am selfish and maybe I am but I am what I am. I like BMW very very very much. He just works too damn much. He needs to get it together before I move on to someone who does have it together. Nuf said.

New Year?

So it is 2010. I swore that this was gonna be my year. Maybe it will be. I wanted to get married this year. Then I just wanted to get engaged this year. Now, 3 days into 2010, I am just hoping that I will have have two consecutive dates with a someone who is straight all of the time. Is that asking a lot? No really, you would tell me right?

Take Me As I Am Damnit

For years I have been trying to shape myself into something that someone else would want. If I look this way or act this way I would be more attractive to guys. Then I really thought about it. Guys are attracted to me as I am now. True the majority may not be what I am looking for (toothless, old, criminals, etc) but there are some that I keep around (hey I kept Mail Man around for a year!)

As I loose weight (I had lap band surgery last year for those who didn't know) I find that I want someone to want me as I am and not as I will be. Does that make any sense? I am fat (yes I said it), loud, funny, bitchy and loving. Take it or leave it. If you don't love me the way that I am now, I'm not looking for you later!

Its Been a Long Time

I haven't blogged in ages. I guess that tells you how busy life has been. That and they blocked this site at work and this was one of my favorite ways to avoid doing my job! So my dears let me catch you up. Yes I am still single. Yes I am still in grad school. I swear it feels as if I will never graduate. Yes I still have a job- even with furloughs and salary reductions- thank God for that! I am addicted to Facebook. It is a great way to catch up with me and for me to see what is going on with everyone else.

I haven't been on a rant in a while and now that I think about it, I have something to say dammit! To the little bastard that decided to autograph my car with permanent marker- I hope your teeth fall out! Yeah I said it. Here I was at ghetto Target (Mondawmin) minding my own business. I come out to find that DEL wrote on the back of my driver's side mirror. How in the hell am I supposed to get that shit off? I mean you had nothing else better to do then write on a car? My car at that? I mean I don't drive a BMW or anything but my little Highlander is my baby and I don't appreciate it being defaced.

Ok rant over....for now....

I have given up on trying to understand guys! I have accepted that I will be alone for the rest of my life!

I just don't get how he could say I miss you and lets plan to meet up and then out of the other side of his mouth say I just don't feel like company when the time comes. So I say to you my dear 3rd Grade- forget it. I give up trying to figure out what you want. Especially when you don't know. I am leaving you alone to find yourself. When you do, I may be around, I may not. Being friends with you is too hard right now. Starved crushes die and I hope this one won't be a slow death. While I am upset with you, I don't wish you ill. I just hope that you find what you are looking for. In time, I hope we really can be good friends because no matter what I will miss you.

Being a Brown Trout

So it would seem that in the world the fish the brown trout has it right. He doesn't chase the bait. He waits for the bait to come to him.

So I am practising to be a brown trout. I am tired of doing the chasing. Hell I'm tired of the chase. If 3rd grade wants me seriously, he is going to have to come to me. I can't keep pushing and nudging him along. I'm not saying that I will be a bitch but instead of putting an idea in his head and making him think its his own, it will actually have to be his own. I want this but he has to want this also. So I will be his friend. I will respond to him. But I won't lead him.

Big words. Lets see if my actions can back it up.....

BET on a Hot Mess

So I was watching the BET Awards because I wanted to see what type of tribute they were going to do to MJ. Why? There is a reason that I never watch that show and I was reminded why on Sunday night. In general the show is always a mess. My inner snob is coming out but it is always ghetto! Folks have clothes half on, the cursing (not talking about you Eddie LeVert!) and the "bling." I mean really T Pain and his "Big Ass Chain" necklace all iced out and the fool came out with a cup in his hand. Who comes out on stage to accept an award with a cup in his hand? I can only imagine what was in it. And why do so few black folks seem to know how to speak proper English?

Another thing that I found beyond tacky was Joe Jackson. Your son just died and you are walking the red carpet talking about your new record label. Then you sit through the whole damn show! WTF?!?!?! Take a page from your daughter Janet. She showed up at the end and thanked everyone for their well wishes and condolences and called it a day. I always knew Joe was an ass.

All in all I BET I won't be watching another BET Awards show. At least a fight didn't break out this year- or is that the Source Awards? Black folks get it together. We have so moved pass the Good Times mentality!